Posted by Kevin at adsl-64-167-89-22.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net on June 14, 2002 at 03:25:10:
In Reply to: PG-13 IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH YOU, KEVIN SMITH! posted by velana3 on June 14, 2002 at 00:15:31:
: Recently I have told you about my Gen-X casting choices for the
leading part of Jersey Girl instead of Jennifer Lopez: Parker Posey
(because she is the indie queen and you are the indie king as hailed
by TIME magazine so you two should make a movie together and
yes, I know she can be annoying but she does have depth and
subtlety in every character she plays: Kicking and Screaming-the
psuedo Kevin Smith film, The House of Yes, those Hal Hartley films,
and those Christopher Guest films-she's hilarious in those films)
Parker's not right for the role.
<< ........and Janeane Garofalo (I don't understand why you didn't pick
her as the leading character in Dogma-can you tell me why?-she
was the most funniest woman in the whole bunch, and she always
has jokes for everything).
We didn't "pick her" for "Dogma" because Linda had the lead sewn
up for quite some time before we shot.
<< I really want you to consider these two actresses for the leading
"Jersey Girl". Please consider these two actresses, they're much
more funnier and improvisational in their acting than what Jennifer
Lopez has ever done in her last ten or so movies.
I'm considering it...
Still considering...
Nope - still Jennifer.
<< But what horrifies me even more than Jennifer Lopez is that you
plan to have Jersey Girl be a PG-13 movie. I know and you must
know that the PG-13 RATING IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH THE
NAME KEVIN SMITH!
Let me worry about what synonymous with my name, thanks.
Look, the movie's PG13 (well, it reads that way, anyway; I guess it's
not really PG13 'til the MPAA says it is, though). That wasn't
intentional; it just turned out that way when the script was finished. I
love every flick I've made thus far, but I think it'll be nice to try
something a little different, and even nicer that said attempt is barely
an attempt. The story is what the story is.
<< I swear. Your reputation is going to go down in flames if you try
this trick of yours us.
A "trick"? Where's the "trick"? The movie's PG13. There's no "trick" to
it.
And, man... if I had a nickel for every time someone warned me that
my career was going to go down in flames.
<< The reason all the critics love you is because of your dialogue and
how natural it is. Making a PG-13 movie would destroy this
naturalistic dialogue that you supposedly have in Jersey Girl.
If the critics liked the dialogue before, they'll like it this time too. If the
critics were into the profanity, then they never really liked the dialogue
itself; they just liked to hear dirty words. And if that's the case, they'll
hate this flick, and maybe like the next. Whatever. I'm in it for the long
haul (or until I run out of stories). If I lose them this time, I'll get 'em
back on the next one. It's happened before, and it's bound to happen
again.
<< It would be like another Miramax/Ben Affleck BOUNCE movie
(which was terrible because Don Roos has obvious talent with
comebacks and jokes and they weren't even seen here because of
commercialm prospects) or that dreaded upcoming Miramax/Ben
Affleck film The Third Wheel (which stars hack actress Denise
Richards).
Man, I ASPIRE to make a "Bounce."
Well, not really. But I didn't know what else to say in regards to your
anti-"Bounce/anti-"Wheel" diatribe.
<< I can only imagine that Jersey Girl could be one of those two bad
movies mentioned above or that completely stupid British Hugh
Grant movie About a Boy which is so bad that it went from good then
back to bad.
Look, don't blame me for your limited imagination. When I imagine
stuff, it's along the lines of me flying without an engine, or having a
twelve inch cock and washboard abs.
<< I speak for everyone when I say I want Jersey Girl to be R-rated to
show that YOU KEVIN SMITH are mature and faithful to us Gen-Xers
and our daily lives and that there's a decent not hack actress who's
up against Ben in the movie and that there's realistic, witty, and
offensive dialogue coming out of Jersey Girl.
Perhaps I spoke too soon. Maybe your imagination isn't so limited
after all, if you really believe you speak for everyone.
You speak for yourself, ma'am or sir.
Now, the Lorax? He speaks for the trees.
<< That's all I want. That's all that all of your fans want.
If that's all my fans want, then they're not real fans. Any fan would
want me to investigate other avenues of story-telling, I'd like to think. I
mean, there are only so many times you can listen to someone say
"Cock-smoker" before it loses it's luster.
<< Please, don't be a sell-out.
I sold out ages ago.
<< Don't be a hack.
A hack directs pictures he or she doesn't write for the paycheck
alone. Not the case here.
<< Don't be the fuck-up that I think you will become because I know
you -Kevin Smith- are not being true to yourself and this Jersey Girl is
no reason to find out who you are in life.
If you think I'm being untrue to myself, then you don't know me at all -
which should go without saying, as we don't hang out or anything.
<< I know this isn't you. I know this isn't your voice. Please don't
betray us-the audience- from knowing that you made some sort of
castrated chick flick that is just as bad as She's All That.
Hey, hey! There's no need to get mean.
Again - nobody knows what the story is. Calm down.
<< Just PLEASE! Don't make Jersey Girl become a sell-out as I have
described!
Um... wasn't going to. I don't know what the fuck you were describing,
but it wasn't our flick.
Ultimately, see it or don't see it. Your call.
<< P.S. And by the way when I said Jack Black was cool and should
be in your films, I was saying that he is a good actor only in High
Fidelity and Jesus' Son not the other stupid movies like I Still Know
What you did last Summer or Shallow Hal or the fucked up Orange
County. The latter, I have know no respect for his acting because he
hasn't tapped into his comic impulses. In the other two he does and I
hope Kevin can take the Jack Black advantage if he can.
You're young, aren't you? I've gotta believe nobody over the age of
eighteen gives the career trajectory of Jack Black (or any actor, for that
matter) that much thought.
See you next fall.