Kevin, don't listen to anyone but yourself

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: We enjoy your films because of your talent and vision. If you start listening to the "backseat drivers" you stifle your own talent and abandon the vision. : I don't care if you cast a film with my top 3 hated actors, I'd still go see it because I admire your writing and generally enjoy your films! : Anyone who feels differently can go see something else! : : : : Recently I have told you about my Gen-X casting choices for the : : leading part of Jersey Girl instead of Jennifer Lopez: Parker Posey : : (because she is the indie queen and you are the indie king as hailed : : by TIME magazine so you two should make a movie together and : : yes, I know she can be annoying but she does have depth and : : subtlety in every character she plays: Kicking and Screaming-the : : psuedo Kevin Smith film, The House of Yes, those Hal Hartley films, : : and those Christopher Guest films-she's hilarious in those films) : : Parker's not right for the role. : : << ........and Janeane Garofalo (I don't understand why you didn't pick : : her as the leading character in Dogma-can you tell me why?-she : : was the most funniest woman in the whole bunch, and she always : : has jokes for everything). : : We didn't "pick her" for "Dogma" because Linda had the lead sewn : : up for quite some time before we shot. : : << I really want you to consider these two actresses for the leading : : "Jersey Girl". Please consider these two actresses, they're much : : more funnier and improvisational in their acting than what Jennifer : : Lopez has ever done in her last ten or so movies. : : I'm considering it... : : Still considering... : : Nope - still Jennifer. : : << But what horrifies me even more than Jennifer Lopez is that you : : plan to have Jersey Girl be a PG-13 movie. I know and you must : : know that the PG-13 RATING IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH THE : : NAME KEVIN SMITH! : : Let me worry about what synonymous with my name, thanks. : : Look, the movie's PG13 (well, it reads that way, anyway; I guess it's : : not really PG13 'til the MPAA says it is, though). That wasn't : : intentional; it just turned out that way when the script was finished. I : : love every flick I've made thus far, but I think it'll be nice to try : : something a little different, and even nicer that said attempt is barely : : an attempt. The story is what the story is. : : << I swear. Your reputation is going to go down in flames if you try : : this trick of yours us. : : A "trick"? Where's the "trick"? The movie's PG13. There's no "trick" to : : it. : : And, man... if I had a nickel for every time someone warned me that : : my career was going to go down in flames. : : << The reason all the critics love you is because of your dialogue and : : how natural it is. Making a PG-13 movie would destroy this : : naturalistic dialogue that you supposedly have in Jersey Girl. : : If the critics liked the dialogue before, they'll like it this time too. If the : : critics were into the profanity, then they never really liked the dialogue : : itself; they just liked to hear dirty words. And if that's the case, they'll : : hate this flick, and maybe like the next. Whatever. I'm in it for the long : : haul (or until I run out of stories). If I lose them this time, I'll get 'em : : back on the next one. It's happened before, and it's bound to happen : : again. : : << It would be like another Miramax/Ben Affleck BOUNCE movie : : (which was terrible because Don Roos has obvious talent with : : comebacks and jokes and they weren't even seen here because of : : commercialm prospects) or that dreaded upcoming Miramax/Ben : : Affleck film The Third Wheel (which stars hack actress Denise : : Richards). : : Man, I ASPIRE to make a "Bounce." : : Well, not really. But I didn't know what else to say in regards to your : : anti-"Bounce/anti-"Wheel" diatribe. : : << I can only imagine that Jersey Girl could be one of those two bad : : movies mentioned above or that completely stupid British Hugh : : Grant movie About a Boy which is so bad that it went from good then : : back to bad. : : Look, don't blame me for your limited imagination. When I imagine : : stuff, it's along the lines of me flying without an engine, or having a : : twelve inch cock and washboard abs. : : << I speak for everyone when I say I want Jersey Girl to be R-rated to : : show that YOU KEVIN SMITH are mature and faithful to us Gen-Xers : : and our daily lives and that there's a decent not hack actress who's : : up against Ben in the movie and that there's realistic, witty, and : : offensive dialogue coming out of Jersey Girl. : : Perhaps I spoke too soon. Maybe your imagination isn't so limited : : after all, if you really believe you speak for everyone. : : You speak for yourself, ma'am or sir. : : Now, the Lorax? He speaks for the trees. : : << That's all I want. That's all that all of your fans want. : : If that's all my fans want, then they're not real fans. Any fan would : : want me to investigate other avenues of story-telling, I'd like to think. I : : mean, there are only so many times you can listen to someone say : : "Cock-smoker" before it loses it's luster. : : << Please, don't be a sell-out. : : I sold out ages ago. : : << Don't be a hack. : : A hack directs pictures he or she doesn't write for the paycheck : : alone. Not the case here. : : << Don't be the fuck-up that I think you will become because I know : : you -Kevin Smith- are not being true to yourself and this Jersey Girl is : : no reason to find out who you are in life. : : If you think I'm being untrue to myself, then you don't know me at all - : : which should go without saying, as we don't hang out or anything. : : << I know this isn't you. I know this isn't your voice. Please don't : : betray us-the audience- from knowing that you made some sort of : : castrated chick flick that is just as bad as She's All That. : : Hey, hey! There's no need to get mean. : : Again - nobody knows what the story is. Calm down. : : << Just PLEASE! Don't make Jersey Girl become a sell-out as I have : : described! : : Um... wasn't going to. I don't know what the fuck you were describing, : : but it wasn't our flick. : : Ultimately, see it or don't see it. Your call. : : << P.S. And by the way when I said Jack Black was cool and should : : be in your films, I was saying that he is a good actor only in High : : Fidelity and Jesus' Son not the other stupid movies like I Still Know : : What you did last Summer or Shallow Hal or the fucked up Orange : : County. The latter, I have know no respect for his acting because he : : hasn't tapped into his comic impulses. In the other two he does and I : : hope Kevin can take the Jack Black advantage if he can. : : You're young, aren't you? I've gotta believe nobody over the age of : : eighteen gives the career trajectory of Jack Black (or any actor, for that : : matter) that much thought. : : See you next fall.

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