Posted by Strictly Skewed at 199.199.216.61 on January 21, 2004 at 16:50:45:
In Reply to: Thoughts... posted by Lithmick on January 21, 2004 at 15:34:10:
From my personal experience, wondering whether or not I could handle the death of my child never came into my mind. Or if it did, I'm pretty sure I just ignored it, because I don't think there's anyway to predict how I'd be able to handle it.
However, I certainly looked inside myself to see if I could handle a 'special needs' child, and I was not entirely happy with what I found.
: I sometimes wonder if that is part of the decision when people choose to have kids in the first place--not that they should expect to lose a child, but will they be able to recover from the loss? (By recover, I don't mean get over it, obviously that is not the type of thing that people just "get over"). But also, I think a similar aspect, along that list of questions would be if they would be prepared if the child was born with a disability? (Physical or developmental). Obviously it's not as extreme as the loss of a child, but it is one of those situations where I'm sure the parents feel the way things are turning out wasn't part of that original "plan".
: But I don't think you can take the "what's the point" way of thinking, even in situations such as the case you stated above. Because, well, anything can happen to anybody - but if someone is always living in fear of the worst, then that is not really living. Yes, things could turn out badly with the loss of a child (using your example) - but I feel like taking that chance and having it work out just fine (the child lives a long and healthy life) is well worth it.