Posted by MickCollins: at ac8f3b80.ipt.aol.com on June 16, 2002 at 16:05:59:
In Reply to: Who cares? posted by LunchBoxxx on June 16, 2002 at 13:50:36:
: So What.....Kev cast J-Lo in his next movie. :::
I'm afraid I'll go into the theater and sit in front of an ass-fetishist and
he will manbutter my popcorn the minute Jennifer bends over to pick
the tyke up.
Regardless of her abilities as an actress, or lack there-of, she will
open up Kev's work to some new demographics besides the white,
geeky suburban male. >>>>
You forgot college kids and elderly homosexuals.
This means more Money at the box-office which in turn will equate to
more movies by Kevin Smith. J-Lo will draw in the black and hispanic
male demographics from the inner-city.:::
Its Jenniferf Lopez, not Michael Jordan. If they want to see Lopez,
whom I refuse to refer to as Jlo because I think its an awful thing, they
can turn on MTV and watch one of her magnificently exploitive shit
videos and save the 10 bucks, which you probably assume will be
later used on crack or chitlins.
New Jersey is right between New York and Philadelphia.:::::
Holy shit,alert the media.
...Anyone ever seen a black or hispanic person in either of those
cities??:::
No, I see lots of American Indians. And they kill the white man with
the help of the French, so I must travel with my adoptive father and
brother to save a hot white chick and defeat the homicidal mohawk
who kills for revenge. Whoops, I just had a Last of the Mohicans
flashback.
I could be wrong but I think that there might even be some black and
hispanic people in california too. If I were the "typical" Kevin Smith fan
I would be less concerned with J-Lo's presence and performance in
the film and start to be more concerned with how you are gonna get
your dorky asses back out of that theater with your nikeys, your wallet,
and your cell-phone intact ecspecially when the J-Lo fan
demographic realizes this is a pg-13 film and they aren't going to get
to see any T&A.>>>>>>
Yea, because Lopez has made a name for herself like Sharon "I have
a high IQ,really!" Stone did by flashing bush to the camera like its
Animal Planet and your looking for Lions.
They are gonna be pissed and who are they gonna
blame.............You guessed it "WHITEY"! Just pray Kevin puts J-Lo in a
thong bikini just before/during the end credits so the pathetic geek
demographic can sneak out and run for safety while clutching their
paltry belongings close to their chest. >>>>>>>
Something tells me this dude is part of the pathetic geek
demographic who will run home, post on this board that the film
sucks and then go wank to his battered copy of "The Wedding
Planner"
: J-Lo's acting abitlity can't be any worse than any of the other
actor's/actresses in Kevin's films but that was part of those films'
charm. ::::
Clerks had charm, Mallrats had chum, Jay and Silent bob SB had
ChimChim, Dogma had .....I ran out of useful CH wods in the context,
but the ChimChim reference makes up for it.
:::I'm sure if Kevin can make Mewes and Affleck come across as
entertaining instead of pathetic then he can make J-Lo tolerable to
watch. It could be worse...Kevin could have cast Rosie O'Donnell or
Chelsea Clinton. Good Luck Mr. Smith....I look forward to renting this
film when it makes it to DVD. ::::
Rosie O'Donnell could not fit in the movie unless Kevin deicded to
shoot it like Lawrence of Arabia. Her head is too big. She is like a
fucking Bobblehead Doll that Gepetto fashioned from a redwood.
She looks like Akroyd at the end of Ghostbusters 2 after Vigo the
Carpathian possess his head. Small Mexican children smash her
head with sticks when she walks by in the vain hope cany will fall out.
God,I amuse myself.