Smalls lent me his powers for the day.

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Posted by Chiusano at on April 26, 2000 at 19:18:39:

In Reply to: Questions for Kevin. posted by MickCollins. on April 26, 2000 at 18:25:37:

Now, I must warn you that I've not yet mastered this Spike Jonzian technique, so these will be Kevin's answers as filtered through me. Let's hope that some Kev pulp seeps through. And that Smalls gets back soon because I can't shoulder this shit much longer. I'll be insane by Friday.

: -1-I remember you saying you were not a big fan of the X-Men. But,being a movie/comic guy,what are your thoughts about the X-Men flick?

It was reported once that he said at a comic convention or something that he thought the trailer made them look like "the gay X-Men".

: -2- Cybill Shepard has released a tell all about her vapid life. She claims Elvis was good in the sack but would not go down on her because "White Boys don't eat pussy". Is it because that is true, or is Elvis making an excuse because he did not want to stick and lick the orifice of a woman who may have more bacteria living insider her than a leper colony. She claims to have banged so many guys that she may be bought by the CDC and used as a human STD petri dish. I think its the latter.

I can't speak for the King (Smalls only has the link to Kevin at the moment...and channelling the dead may be beyond even Smalls' capabilities), but white boyz definitely like to eat of the passionfruit that is the vaginal oriface. But the Brits have a more complex stance: "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pussy. HOW can you have any pussy if you don't eat your meat?!" Brits are odd.

That last part was mostly Kevin. Apparently he digs Floyd.

: -3- Damon dumped Winona Ryder. Is it because he realized she sheems to possess a personality shallower than a Kentucky gene pool?

It's because her hair is too short. Girls should have longer hair than Jerry Seinfeld, especially if they want to keep a Golden Boy.

: -4- How's the daughter? Tell her I said goo.

She's doing well.

: -5- How's the diet going? Gonna be at fighting weight by WizardWorld time? Its gonna be you and I versus Ray Park and Hugh Jackoff,er man. I expect you to pull your own weight.

Jackman ain't a contender, but Park is formidable. Call it a draw.

: -6- What happend to the VA magazine? If you need people to contribute, I'd be happy and proud to write poopyjokes to be enjoyed by the masses. So would Breck. And Buster would be happy to edit it,though it may end up being thinner than Alley McBeal on a diaretic.

Kevin apparently is still unclear of this because I'm getting nothing.

: -7- Why does Ted Casablanca hate Affleck? He had someone go looking for his bill just to embarass him. I'd ask Affleck,but he's busy answering DJ Andy's request for a dinnerdate.

Casablanca's just bitter because Hal Sparks got his parking space. And if Andy lets his hair grow out and dyes it blond, he may have a shot at the Ben.

: -8-Are you still set on like 8 flicks and done,like you said before, or have you realized being paid to make flicks is a nice gig that beats the hell out of what I have to do? I'm bitter. Yet sunny.

He is no longer certain of the number of flicks he'll do in the future and says he'll take it one day at a time.

: -9-Now that you will open a Movie Theater, can you name certain seats and areas after posters? The B.Buster memorial Handicapped Stall? The Smalls memorial urinal cake?(shitting in this urinal is off-topic.)? The MickCollins Centerseat,where all throwing angles are available to the Kerry Wood esque tosser whose given task is to bean anyone who talks during the flick,even in previews. The Malcolm Load memorial fake butter shooter. The Brian Lynch mint pan. The Chiusano footrest? It goes on and on.

Hasn't put much thought into it, but naming the entire lobby after Chiusano is a pretty sharp idea.

Really Kev? Hey thanks.

: -10-No important tenth question, I just want to make the numbers even. So,what do you think of Ennis' the Punisher? I kinda dig it. More so than Preacher,which I think sucks.

Smalls doesn't have the power to mentally download non-Kevin comic info. It's part of the OT-Chip he had implanted in his brain. So I can't be of service to you.

*End of Transmission*

Whew, this takes a lot out of you. Smalls must pop aspirins like Skittles.


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