how to make your prom fun - from the onion

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Posted by Xtian at on May 05, 2004 at 12:10:34:

In Reply to: Here's how to make prom fun- posted by Baby Jesus on May 05, 2004 at 12:05:09:

Prom season is just around the corner. Here are some tips
to help make your prom night unforgettable.

~ The prom is a magical experience, a chance to do such grown-up
things as get all dressed up, drink nine Smirnoff Ices, vomit in
a limo, and pass out in Mom's azalea bushes.

~ The theme is one of the most important elements of a prom.
Choose carefully between "Tropical Paradise" and "Stepping Out
In Style."

~ Do not attempt to finger-fuck your date until a slow song comes on.

~ Don't forget the corsage! Fresh flowers are necessary to mask
the smell of sweat and foot odor in your school's dank, poorly
ventilated gym.

~ Try to plan ahead, so you are not more than two or three months
pregnant for your prom.

~ Next to a bridesmaid dress, a prom dress is the most important
dress you will ever wear.

~ If you were not asked to prom, you can still have fun by putting
on a fancy dress, buying a taco-salad party platter from the local
Pic-N-Save, and dancing in your bedroom as a portable radio plays
the latest Top 40 hits.

~ Remember, this will be the biggest night of your life ... if you
happen to die in the next few weeks.

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