I was roughed up by a pack of snails!


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Posted by cisco3600 at pool-141-154-234-167.bos.east.verizon.net on March 19, 2004 at 22:16:30:

In Reply to: I WAS HIT BY A FUCKING BUS!!! posted by shitty speller...DEAL WITH IT! on March 19, 2004 at 19:03:04:

So, after reporting the incident to the proper local authorities, I quickly returned home. There was a hill on the way. I ran down the hill pretty fast and began to lose my balance. I didn’t fall, but I came awfully close. You know when you’re running down a hill too fast and you can’t stop without taking a dive? It wasn’t like that or anything, but I had to really, really try to stop. Crazy.

Moments after closing the kitchen door I imagined the consequences of my steps had I not first opened it. I would’ve walked right into the thing. Hello? Head trauma. Paramedics. Photo journalists, jazz men and black bean soup for the rest of your life. No thanks. I’ll take the gosh-darned car. Well, the cat’s done, judging by the smell.

What a thoughtless pack of snails.


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