when she said she was gonna, like, wreck my car?

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: : Martha Stewart of insider trading : Of taking up precious Rachel Ray time on Food Network. : If I'm watching Food Net, I either want Alton Brown to teach me how to cook Mr. Wizard style or I want Rachel to shake it shake shake shake it like a Polaroid picture. Give me some sugar, I am your neighbor. : : Fred Durst of making shit music : Calling Limp Bizket music, even shit music, is an insult to music everywhere. : : Jack White of beaing the shit out of some guy : Of barely being able to play... and having a wife/sister/girlfriend that can't play at all... and then shilling his stuff as "artistically minimalist" instead of "unable to play". : : R kelly for having sex with a 14 year old girl. He also pissed in her face, that dirty fucker. : I find it disturbing that R. Kelly gets off so light for being a pedophile while Michael Jackson takes so much more shit for it. It's as if America is collectively saying "Oh, fucking kids is only bad if you're fucking kids of the same sex". : Which is so goddamn warped on so many levels that I can't fully process it. : : Rosie O'donnel, for being a real bitch : Ah, you're just jealous she gets more pussy than you. : : Michael jackson, for this recent child molestation case : If he's guilty, it's fucking awful but... Lord, he may actually be so insane that he's NOT touching these kids, he really is just... having slumber parties and crap. Its in the realm of possibility. : : Jeffery jones, for taking naughty photos of a little boy : He's hiding in the old set from Beetlejuice with Pee-Wee and Winona. Wark my mords. : : O.J. simpson, for, well you know : Not taking the Bills to a Superbowl win? : Then Machine Gun Kelly is guilty too. : : Scott peterson, for killing his wife and unborn son : He's a monster of course... but I really dislike how people are trying to tie this whole case up in fucking "fetal rights" bullshit. He killed his wife, that's awful and that's that. His kid wasn't a kid yet. : : the parents of john benay Rhamsey : They were monsters for dolling their kid up like that and parading her out like meat long long long before they killed her. : : what do you think the chances are that Kevin's big news is that he will be on a celebrity reality tv show! : Minimal. : Thanks for playing. : Mike

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