Posted by International Seed Depositor at c-24-9-230-104.client.comcast.net on January 15, 2004 at 20:24:00:
Unfinished, but written by God's bestest of the better bunch of best friends, Sir Not Affected by Poison Ivy guy, Patrick Brickley
Bold Intervention
The strange and comical tale of rebels fighting an evil force/government, and the two heroes that just want to party, but always seem to save the day by mistake anyway
Opening action
Laser pulse through the bulkhead while people running around screaming, crying, bold, or cringing.
A man in semi-ultra armor screams into his wrist “It’s no good! It’s no good! We’ve been compromised! The hero was a decoy! I repeat, The Hero was a decoy! There’s no package here!”
Static hissing and pops are heard, as the sounds of turmoil seem to be getting closer. Then a faint “Well, evac and continue the best you can … … rumors and reports head target towards the Alpha quadrant until victory!”
Man takes on depressed appearance “Swell, just Fabbo.” He whispers, then screams out “Lets decircle these wagons and evac, stat!” There’s movement around him, as other soldiers appear and nod heads.
“We’re on the bounce sir!”
“Just try not to die until this mission is over.”
“Uh, okay. SIR!”
Exterior shot of pods exploding from ship.
Meanwhile on “New Amsterdam”
G: sounding wasted “We really gotta vacate.” “ He gestures with strange smoking tubular object “I ensured that we return here within 4 jumps”
B: chugging the last dregs from a glass “How’d you get the contracts set up that far ahead?” struggling to stand
G: “I tello-ed that guy on” waves toward sky “that place”
B: confident look “chill” looks at G “in order to vacate, you’ll probably have to stand.”
G: “Damn gravity, always brings me down”
They both chuckle, B helps G stand, and they stumble out of dank bar a stumble down the street.
B: “when did you load up the shipment?”
G: “We got sealed compartments as soon as they off loaded our shipment”
B: “So we’ve just been hanging out? When are we scheduled for depart?”
G: “Whenever, it’s the off season. They’ll let us jump with only a few Moe’s request”
B: “Sweet, last time we missed our window and we stuck here a fortnight”
G: “Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t easy missing that window, but we found a way”
B: pointing at window “Hey, do we have one of those?”
G: “What is it?”
B: “I think it’s a zero G lighter.”
G: “Cool, lets get it. You can’t have to many lighters.”
B: “Remember when we could stop and just enjoy our turnovers?”
G: “Yeah.” “These freakin’ renegades our ruining our social lives.”
B: “They suck.” Looks around and whispers, “We got canni loaded on board?”
G: ”We didn’t even have to load any here. Our green system is kicking. Yo, what’s up with the stills?”
B: “Everything is under control” he winks “I still can’t believe we get paid to constantly party.”
G: “Well technically we get paid to ship, haul, and transmit whatever the gov wants us to.”
B: “I know, but with all the auto stuff all we have to do is push start, stop, and sign forms.”
G: “We’ve really got to get an automatic button pusher and sig stamps” they both start laughing again.
B: “How many unscheduled stops do you think we’ll be making?” winks again.
G: laughing “as many as needed?” and shrugs shoulders as both continue laughing. People attempt to avoid the weaving and stumbling of our heroic duo as if it’s common in this area. The trip into a door, and both put their palms up to a sensor to activate a electronic door that says, “Crew arrival complete. Have safe journey.” Their space freighter is a huge cubbish thing sporadically covered in semi globes containing plant life from many different environments. They enter by ramp, and stumble to pilot chairs.
G: “Feel like driving the bus?”
B: “I too far gone, you give it a whirl”
G: into microphone like object “Tower, are we clear for departure?”
Tower: “No, and in the civilian world, I’m referred to as controller.”
B: “Sounds like he’s got cramps. Try pretending you’re a nice person”
G: “I wouldn’t now where to start” then into microphone like object “Beginning count down”
Tower: “Countdown? Shut all systems down and prepare for boarding, JERK.”
G: “This is contractor Gulf69Bravo with secured shipments for the Governments of Oppression, feel free to give us plenty to report to Admiral Spacefella.”
Tower: “Huh, …everything checks out. We’re clearing a jump port for you now.”
B: “SWEET! Hydroponics secured, Distillery secure, Environments stable, Fuel tank on full+. We are ready to ROCK, G. ”
G: “Thanks B.” fade to
Somewhere Else
Biff: looking around in cargo/sitting area of small escape pod “So, who made it?” blank stares all around “Renegade Roll Call! Biff!”
Sly: “Sly!”
Henderson: “Henderson!”
Cheese monger: “Cheese monger!”
Clit: “Clit!”
Henderson: “I hope Vishnu and Mohammad made it”
Biff: “No time for sweat, we have the mission now”
Clit: “ I’m getting nothing on the “looking for the Genetically Heroic machine” thingy
Biff: “If you’d drop the word ‘thingy’ you’d actually sound professional”
Clit: “Is that important?”
Biff: “In your case” He looks her up and down “Who cares”
Cheese Monger: “Hey, …”
Biff: “Okay, Okay, you’re a babe too”
Henderson: “I’m not sure if that’s what she was complaining about”
Biff: “Who cares? Down with politically correctness, and up with booty!”
Sly: “Long live the revolution! Until we win that is, then we’ll be the government and they’ll be the outcastes, and by ‘they’ I mean to imply the ‘Government of Oppression’. We’re aloud to hate them ” Looks around sheepishly “Aren’t we?”
Biff: “Hell yeah! Got any input on that Cheese Mangler?”
Cheese Monger: “Cheese Monger”
Biff: “Whatever, nice hooters by the way”
Clit: “She doesn’t have an owl”
Biff: “Good point, but I was...”
Clit: “I’m getting something on the… thingy”
love,
God (and BRICK, Patrick Brickley, 1 ea.)