Posted by thegreatbigpork at 12.108.99.30 on October 21, 2003 at 11:00:56:
In Reply to: on low budget movies (long post.. you were warned) posted by aziraphael on October 21, 2003 at 10:42:13:
Seeing all those posts on this board makes you think "why don't they just do it, THEN ask people what they think?" you're right, it is a long shot between conception and execution. I used to be in a band and I cherish the little 3 song demo we recorded because, looking back, it was a miracle even that was done. Reality's a bitch.
: ok. From now I humbly suggest that any poster that begins with "dear Kevin I/we are thinking about making a lowbudget movie/writing a screenplay/doing a comic book etc etc.. should have to make a donation of $1 to a charity of their choice before posting....
: Its a long shot between thinking and doing. I am not thinking about making a low-budget movie. I am planning a massively bloated epic requiring vast sums of money - and with only one more bank and two armoured cars to go on my list I'm almost there for funding.. (FBI twitchers please note that would be a humorous reference- think I'm kidding? where-else do you think their monitoring budget goes??).
: The reasons for my crime wave for movie funding is that low to no budget movie making is , well, it's crap really... You have the absolute freedom to do what you want because you aren't relying on anyone else for money. You also have the freedom to starve to death in your parents' basement - doesn't make it a good idea.. (for inspiration watch American Movie - the single best window on independent low budget movie making ever & maybe double up with Living In Oblivion).
: Now before everybody gets all hyped up let me state - I am not taking a leak all over your parade. I stoutly and firmly believe that you should all make movies, write novels, screenplays and draw comics.. So make 'em!! Don't think about making them!! I am guilty of prevarication in just all those forms of media - so don't be like me and wallow in the comfort of the well-i-have-great-ideas-but-its-just-so-hard-to-make-them-reality bullsh*t...
: If you have ideas then make them happen, for god's sake... Otherwise in a few years time you'll be writing lengthy and sad postings to a board while you sit at your desk, in your cubicle/parents basement wondering how the hell it is that less creative schmos get to make crap all the time whilst your great Predator/Ishtar crossover will never see the light of day.
: Years ago a friend who was in film school asked me to help out with his movies for his curriculum. At the first group tutorial he attended about there first movie subject his lecturer handed out the title "Chaos". One of the other students decided at this point to stand up and announce that she was a lesbian, and received a 2 minute ovation from her classmates (excepting my friend) - nothing further just that one statement. My friend quickly realised his classmates were all clearly mad.
: Taking this on board from that title the other students set out to make tortured sub-dogme, philosophical and mostly bloody awful student films about the terrible state of the world we live in, the blank-faced government sponsored schadenfreude of everday life yada yada yada.
: We made an action movie.
: It was bloody, violent had no moral catchpoint and basically showed a hitman (me) who went about his trade of getting rid of everyone else in the cast for very little reasons other than it was his job. Because I was the only person he knew that had done any martial arts he naturally assumed that I would be able to quite easily choreograph grand scenes of epic proportions.... because that's what they teach right from the first day right?? Wrong.
: So with no idea what we were doing, laughably cheap special effects and a cast of friends who didn't mind being liberally sprayed with fake blood we made our little gem. One of the best evenings we had was our drunken experiments on how to make fake blood from cornsyrup...we discovered quickly that a) if you make it like real blood it looks fake (?!!) and b) that shit doesn't come off your friends kitchen surfaces. At all...
: So our fractured storyline and bizarre shooting schedule (despite the loss of one school-camera in a bizarre parking-lot accident) and frankly peculiar fight scenes made into the editing studio.. and our great director
: began his editing process..
: It was during this time that I began to notice that my friend, who was always slightly eccentric, was beginning to get decidedly erratic. And I grew more and more worried about him and his obsession with creating this curriculum filler film... When the great premiere came round - and yes we did have a preshow party in my front room - how sad is that? - we sat and waited in the dark for what we expected to be a good laugh at our terrible movie.
: Instead we sat stunned as we watched what was an amazing, dark and gritty short movie. Our friends gifts as an editor and almost every other role in the movie process were truly amazing. He took bad performances and terrible lighting and cheesy special effects and made it great. It looked bleak and expensive and oddly cool. We went nuts - there was even a blooper reel, carefully edited and very funny...
: and so you ask if it was so fuckin' great why haven't you heard of me and my friend's great movie and why aren't we out there conquering the film-world with Rodriguez or Smith like savoir faire??
: Easy. This little movie crushed my friend in the end. His mental condition deteriorated and he ended up destroying almost all his work...what he handed in subsequently were jumbled and bizarre viusal essays all except that one little movie which his tutor loved and compared favourably to Reservoir Dogs (gives you an idea of the time frame). His eventual breakdown and collapse aren't to be documented here, but suffice it to say that watching him crumble and fall in one himself was easily one of the most upsetting experiences of my adult life.
: His tutor accidentally erased his copy of the movie and my friend destroyed all his copies. So now it only exists in the memories of the 14 or so people that watched it. All the creative stuff just kind of left me then...
: so if you've made it this far - congratulations..
: don't think about it. Do it. Cos I can't. I want to see your stuff...
: