Posted by Rev. Jonny Fabulous at dialup239.ts521.cwt.esat.net on October 10, 2003 at 14:31:16:
Love it like you love your own mother. And then reply.
INT. LIVING ROOM –- DAY
Sitting alone on a couch is MAX. Early twenties and with thick black rimmed glasses and greasy hair, he looks like Rick Moranis on a bad day. Max looks very bored. The shot makes the sequence feel like a television commercial.
Shy? Confused? Ill at ease?
Max looks puzzled. He doesn’t know where the voice is coming from.
Do you find yourself unable to
communicate with the opposite
Max stares into the camera and nods.
Well Max, we here at Zucker
Pharmaceuticals have developed
something for you and your self
How do you know my name? Who
Close up on a box of LUST-A-LOT. It is similar in appearance to a box of aspirin, but the box is dominated by a cool-looking guy with a pretty girl on each arm.
It’s called “Lust-A-Lot” and it’s
The answer to all your problems!
INT. LABORATORY -- DAY
Three SCIENTISTS and a NURSE are inspecting Max. Max takes a dose of Lust-A-Lot.
INT. ESOPHAGUS –- UNDETERMINED
We see a crude animation of two cool sunglass wearing, college football jacket sporting JOCKS surfing down the patient’s esophagus to the sound of heavy rock music. Their jackets read “Lust-A-Lot”. They arrive in what appears to be the stomach and see a group of NERDS. Some are playing chess, others are dressed as Star Trek characters, all must be destroyed. The two jocks mercilessly annihilate the nerds, bashing them over the head with their surfboards. With the battle won, a six attractive PARTY GIRLS appear from nowhere and dance with the jocks.
Scientifically speaking, Lust-A-Lot
works by attacking the geeky genes
in your body and temporarily
eradicating them, thus making you
cool. That’s what makes Lust-A-Lot
the premier aphrodisiac on the market
INT. LABORATORY –- DAY
Max takes a comb from his pocket, fixes his hair, grabs the female nurse and passionately kisses her. The three male scientists give each other high-fives.
Get your box of Lust-A-Lot over
the counter today. Ask for it
Close up on a box of Lust-A-Lot.
Warning: Lust-A-Lot may produce
excessive laxative effect.
Max immediately stops kissing the nurse and stares into the camera, worried.
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