Posted by tommybruce at adsl-67-113-85-40.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net on August 25, 2003 at 21:05:30:
In Reply to: Just finished first draft of my first screenplay posted by Elmo Machete on August 25, 2003 at 20:21:02:
There are a few good chuckles in it. But it seems like a REALLY long SNL sketch. You have the makings of writing good dialog, but it seems you add profainity where it doesnt need to be. My advice is to take another pass at it (cause screenplays get better with time) and add some stuff that happened to you in real life in it. Namely something funny. And it seems a little confusing, make it a bit more linear. Hope I helped