Posted by Chicago at 12-248-92-149.client.attbi.com on August 21, 2003 at 02:11:06:
"Are the oranges real?" he asked politely. Obviously, she didn't take it that way. "Of course, they're fucking real! I grow them in my backyard!" Of course she did. And sure enough... fake platic trees from which hung perfectly scuplted plastic fruit... mostly oranges. "Ah." He didn't have to look twice.
On the other side of the tracks danced little McKinley. He was about four foot eight and ninety pounds. But he sure could kick the shit out of anybody. On top of all that, he wanted to be a girl. He had always wanted to be a girl. So he became a girl. Then that same little shit who's always asking if shit's fake or real came strolling along. He asked about the breasts. And then got the fucking shit kicked out of him. He didn't even have to look twice.
Then there was that fat man who owned the pizza parlor. He had seen Trainspotting sixteen times and never blinked once. He loved the movie so much that he gave away the DVD to every hundredth customer. But funds had grown weary and soon he wasn't so loyal in giving away the Trainspotting DVDs. But the sign still hung in the window. "Free Trainspotting DVD to EVERY HUNDREDTH CUSTOMER!" So the man asked... "Is that a real deal?" "No," said the fat pizza man, "But the oranges are."