Posted by CorporateSlutSophisticated at buchanan-b1.state.gov on August 19, 2003 at 12:40:05:
In Reply to: Atlanta highlights -or- Why I love bums posted by AshFan on August 19, 2003 at 12:09:58:
Aye, we have some crazy bums here. There's one who wears whatever he can find. Usually on a Monday it's an old ladys dress, loose at the waist, collar and shoulders with flower print, ya know? Then, Tuesdays, he'll usually sport a kilt, with nothing underneath. Wednesdays, it's a man's clothes, but they always looks stolen, what with the rips and blood stains, stolen very violently. Thursdays and Fridays he always wears underwear and that's it. Briefs. Those days must seem extra hot to him.
There's also this bum who has a HUGE mess of dread locks and paints his face like a tribesman headed for war. I remember one time when I came out of the pharmacy, having spent the last of my money on my meager lunch, a bag of nuts, the bum stopped me and asked, " Could ya spare one dolluh?"
"Sorry," I said, " I don't have any money."
And I began walking away, heading back to the building I work in and fishing through my purse for my ID. The bum must have thought I was looking for change so he followed me with his hand out and I kept saying that I didn't have anything and he kept saying " ONE DOLLUH!" Getting louder and louder, I decided to offer a cigarette. He promptly smacked it out of my hand and said, " One DolluH!" That's when the security guard outside my building started yelling at him and he said " FUCK YOU!" and walked off.
Then there's the one on the dock who never asks anyone walking in front of me for change but when he sees that white skinned American girl he must think " Cha-ching!" and says, " Got some spare change?" I usually just ignore him but my mom stops (bad move) and says, " Why do you always ask me, when you know I won't give you anything?"
"Because you're a whitey." the bum said promptly.
Then there's the one who walks up and down the red light district that we have to drive through which is always slow and jammed after work. It's not really "red light" until night time of course. And the bum there is an obvious heroine addict and likes to stick his head into peoples stopped cars. Of course, your trapped , you can't go anywhere and he doesn't leave until you pay up. This time, I got fed up and told him, " Why do you need money? You aren't a charity case, you are just lazy. I don't see that you are blind or deaf or limping. Get a job, ya bum."
and he replied, " Oh come on, just some change, yes please. I promise I won't buy food with it."
The end.