Posted by dottikam at ip68-224-89-27.lv.lv.cox.net on August 11, 2003 at 16:17:01:
Mostly because I have no aptitude for writing POLLS, and I have become tired of writing in my online blog @ http://www.xanga.com/japrufrock (plug-plug) I'm doing something here in the happy world of viewaskew:
In case you somehow missed all the crappy reviews, I thought that I would share my dismal movie going experience this weekend, in hopes of saving you all from the same mistake. I have included handy alternatives, just in case you had planned on seeing any of these films, you can opt for a B plan.
GIGLI-
Now, I am sure that you all are HUGE Ben & Jen fans like myself. I really dont care about the fact that Jennifer Lopez has an anterouge, a reputation for mistreating sales people and servers, more excitement in her Monday morning than I have to look forward to in the whole of my existence, and all the jeealousy one may have because of those listed things. I adored her in Money Train, and everything that she did in the nineties. She's spirited and talented dammit.
and well, Ben is Ben. We all have that unconditional love for Ben, because, well, he's Ben.
So, bear in mind that I went into the theatre with that type of bias, that hope and certainty that those damned critics were wrong, HAD to be wrong, and what a relief it would be to see that they were!... and it stunk. Not just stinky, but GOD AWFUL STUNK. I hated it. Every minute of it. I have never walked out of a film before, but I tell you I wanted to walk out of this one... except that I love them, those goofy, love-struck kids. I really do, so I gave them until the end.
I suggest instead that you all watch Ben & Jen seperatly in all their glory by watching GOOD WILL HUNTING and OUT OF SIGHT (which you can rent, if you don't already own these films, which shame on you for not,) and save all that bias and faith for JERSEY GIRL.
SWAT-
I walked out of before the end. It was not only BAAAAAD, but the final mix was ripped off of old episodes of the ATEAM, I swear to god. I didn't even watch the end, WHY?, becasue I flat didn't care. Colin Farrell's charater was card board and ill-conceived. Nothing in the story made sense.
The only good part was when a lear jet lands on a LA freeway, which we all were shocked and impressed by a year ago, when we first saw it on "405", for free by downloading the short off of ifilm.com (which I know you all have done, and shame on you if you haven't... go hurry and watch it now,)
ALTERNATE SUGGESTION- Go watch/rewatch the short film "405" at ifilm.com and sit in wonder of the ingenuity of it, then rent NAVY SEALS and and sit in wonder of the dismal ineptitude of it, then burn away $8, with the ATEAM playing in the background, and you will have re-created the experience of going to see SWAT.
FREAKY FRIDAY-
two words, Disney Re-make. I should have known better anyway, right?
28 DAYS LATER-
I loved this film. Now, that may be because I watched it shortly after seeing 3 HORRIBLE films beforehand, granted. I thought that it was great. Kevin once wrote something funny about Scary Movies, and that the plotlines always had these huge gaping logic holes, like why nobody leaves the "Hell" which they have half hazardly stumble upon, to name one. This movie could easily fall into the horror genre, but addresses those common flaws, and does not have them. I reccommend seeing this movie because 1.) It doesn't suck, 2.) It's got an alternate ending after the credits, which is cool if you dig that kind of thing
... and shame on you if you don't.
dot