Posted by Eyes Only at zeb.zqwdrqsz.com on July 29, 2003 at 08:02:32:
In Reply to: Smith to direct Bond 21? posted by Judge Joey on July 29, 2003 at 07:24:19:
: ....I'm not really in the mood, but...
The world economy is threatened by a new super villain, Contact Adhesive Man - he has launched a series of secret satellites from his secret base hidden in the volcano of Secret Island, which , as it is artificial, has a variable location.
His villainous plan? At a given signal (generated by pulling The Switch on Contact Adhesive Man's desk) the satellites will dispense a form of two phase superglue into the atmosphere. This will settle specifically on road surfaces, which will become very sticky and therefore drastically increase the fuel consumption of all road vehicles. Obviouisly, Contact Adhesive Man has planned for this... He has invested in petroleum gas production and has cornered a controlling interest in all non-road transport. He will truly be coiniNg it! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
But...
In the nick of time, a disenchanted ex-henchperson spills the beans to an agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service (MI6 - it's no good talking to those intelligence bozos over at Five) and the game is afoot. Bond is off on a mission... However, this is no ordinary Bond - this is Silent Bond! There is no Bond girl - this time there is a hetero life mate... O O Jay!
So - the plot thickens as O O J and Silent Bond go undercover to penetrate Contact Adhesive Man's gang - the idea being to steal the knob off the end of The Switch and thus prevent the signal being given to the satellites. Cunning plan!
Unfortunately, the metastable duo (well, they are hardly dynamic!) are outted by Glue Girl, Contact Adhesive Man's scantily clad evil assitiant. She overhears them going over the plan in the locker room. They are captures and are tortured by being glued together in an embarrassing juxtaposition. Fortunately, Silent Bond has been issued with all sorts of gadgetry by ever sarcastic Q, including an experimental glue dispersant, which is hidden in his cigarette lighter. Using sign language, he requests a final smoke and, voila! they are free.
They rush around and totally destroy the huge set. The world is saved but at a terrible price. Both O O J and Silent Bond have become glue sniffing addicts as they managed to save Glue Girl from the havoc and destruction and, er, seem to have spent rather a lot of time sniffing her.
Cast this for me!