Posted by Eyesonly at host217-39-84-68.in-addr.btopenworld.com on July 07, 2003 at 07:12:06:
In Reply to: I mooned all your Aunties! posted by Bob301 on July 07, 2003 at 03:51:04:
: ....I however, squeeze zits on a tramps ass in your general direction. I knock on your door and, when you come to answer, HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA I have run away, leaving you clueless in your ragged underwear, wondering what it is all aboot.
I register you with a Christian Dating agency so you may never use your favourite email address again. I draw your face in the surface of a glass of milk and then disfigure it by dropping in small seeds from a strange plant in my garden. I give the milk to a passing goat, but it will not touch it.
I write your name on a piece of paper and laugh hollowly as people pass by outside my window, unable to read what I have written. I fold the paper and place it in an old yellow envelope that once may have contained an old man's toenail clipping collection. I sneeze. I am allergic to you.
Hahahaahaha! Tonight, my needle will be extra sharp and I will sing merrily as I hover over your sleeping form. The point is dipped in spider anaesthetic... I deftly sew, leg against leg, arm against chest, lip against lip, eyelid against eyeball until, at last, you wake to find yourself a living mummy. Lovingly I read you extracts from the Book of Elementary Sophistry...
Hahahahahahaha! The doorbell sounds! I wonder who it may be! Hahahahahah!
(I think I might have overdone the maniacal laughter there, but you get the general drift. Leave the Fly alone.)