Posted by babka at 170-215-192-149.nas2.nor.ny.frontiernet.net on March 12, 2003 at 20:31:53:
SADDAM: "FOR $30 BILLION, I WILL ATTACK MYSELF"
Bush Calls Upon 'Coalition of the Willing to be Bought'
In a stunning development, Iraqi President Saddam Hussein today
offered to attack himself in exchange for $30 billion from the U.S.
government. The surprising offer came in a day when President
George W. Bush exhorted America's allies to join what he called 'a
coalition of the willing to be boughtt' Speaking to a group called the
Veterans of Foreign Investments, the President said, 'It is time for
each of our allies to look deep within and ask this question: Who
wants to be a billionaire?'
The President reminded the allies that since the Turkish legislature
had turned down the U.S.'s request to base troops there for an Iraq
attack, 'Turkey's $30 billion in prize money remains unclaimed.'
Moments after the President's speech, French President Jacques
Chirac made a surprise announcement of his own, saying that
France would be willing to attack Turkey for $30 billion.
'France has no argument with the people of Turkey, Mr. Chirac said.
But $30 billion is a lot of cake.
But Mr. Chirac was soon upstaged by Iraqi strongman Saddam
Hussein, appearing on Iraqi national television to say, 'For $30
billion, I will attack myself, and I will prevail.'
While some in NATO expressed optimism that Saddam's proposal
could avert a war with Iraq, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer
was openly dismissive of Saddam's offer to attack himself, calling it
'a charade.' 'He's telling the world that he'll attack himself and he'll
prevail, but once he gets our money, he'll attack himself and lose,' Mr.
Fleischer said. 'It's just more of his double-talk.'