Posted by molting at 195.8.161.19 on January 17, 2003 at 10:01:09:
Good Day
Shih before last here
Heng 3,4,6 - Meng
Chien 1,3,5 - I
Fu 1 - K'un
I am here to ease my mind, i'm so sorry to have to putn you thriught this if you read on, but i am sincere in the good ....mosltly (i try and joke before you all cry at my .. what is that word..i really have forgotten it,...self pity, no the other one... yoiu know it anyway, my head is bolloxed as usual i suppose.
Very soon have got a real shite thing to dweal with, just sayin now mfrigin body is not so still, panic is a woprd.
"it say's nothing to me about my life, hang the blessed dj be cuz the music they constanyl play" feel a bit better now. la did da la did da
In a few days that is. Have been tryin not too think of it, will have to be quiet and that is difficult for me in momemts of pressure as this is going to be,.. ubder the micro scope it is. the straits are dire even a mire. I've sme assistance by way of someone allready in a union. whew, it's absolute shit, . I really am terrified you know. It's a life changer, and not one that you would immediatley see as being very bebenficial to many people. I do not want to think what they are going to be asking me. I'm exhausted now.
On Monday in the morning if anyone here re-,memebers please please please just think of summat what i have said, all the shit i pour pout in your un-suspecting ears, cuz i will need all of that but i can not for the life of me think srtraight at the moment so i can not really re-memeber my own advice. Somebody give me some strenght i really needit and i really mean it aswell. thank you . It is going to be a fucking nightmare. And it seems i have to just go wioth the flow and just get the help that is allready there. It is true in mant y wasy i haveb brought this upon my sen, so i must suffer the consequences now, but knowing that it will not be shit for ever jusr for a few hours and the panic will subside . i may try and think of what i'mlike when not panicking and just try and be like that straight away. I dunno. owt is worth a try, isn't it.
I am gonna be honest if the thing what i need to kep me calm asnd hold me cud be there i would now all would be well during the encounter. ubnfortunatley it is now my fortune ot r not to say that cities keep us apart at that time. bollocks, i am not soft just honest. piss shit bugger damn. i did bring the thing down on my self but i was not thinking properly and still not am i.
Thanks God Bless all