Posted by MissPrism at 63.73.115.100 on November 13, 2002 at 16:58:46:
In Reply to: OT - Crisis Intervention and Mothers posted by MichelleInMichigan on November 13, 2002 at 16:29:21:
This is very difficult.
My mother and my sister have a rotten relationship. They can't get along for more than an hour, let alone live together. Seems as though it's been that way for as long as I can remember. On the other hand, my mother and I get along pretty well as long as I occassionally give in to her mother like demands and spend some time with her (I recently moved back home with a 9 year old daughter in tow).
Like Adam said, if you're going to consider letting her move in, you need to establish boundaries, and be very clear with your mother about it being your home. But you also have to be prepared to make some adjustments of your own. 4 months really isn't a very long time, especially if you just take it one day at a time.
if on the other hand you decide that you absolutely can not do it, just pick up the phone and let her know. The fact that she's 4 hours away should be a very big help. Be honest and open minded when you talk to her, and then give her a day or to to come to terms with your decision. Make sure you let her know exactly why you are telling her no. Her living with you might make your shaky relationship that much worse.
Basically you just need to think long and hard about it, and come up with a solution that will be best for both you, your mother and your daughter. If just the thought of your mother living with you makes you have a panic attack, it might be a good idea to suggest an alternate plan for her.
and I don't think it's whining (if it is, I do ALOT of it myself). I like to think of it as asking for help :)