The Jello Contoversy, my two scents

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: kum by yah, fellow askewbians, : it has recently come to my attention that Kevin Smith has : intentions of putting jell-o in his next movie, "Jersey Girl", : and that said decision has caused something of an uproar here : on the board he freely provides as a forum for honest opinion : about his body of work. : (read that: he hopes that by letting you whine and carry on here, : you'll keep away from his friends, family and property) : Now what are all these poeple complaining about? Jell-o is a tasty dessert with very few calories, no fat, and a wholesomeness : seldom found in dessert-type food products [Unless you count those godsent : women who like to make bathtubs full of the gelatinous stuff in which to frolic and have videotaped recordings of said frolics made and sold for great profit on the Internet (note: to the aforementioned Jello writhing beauties, I have a VHS camcorder, lots of tape, and a film degree with honors...call me!)]. : Also, it was thru Jello that I first discovered Redi Whip dessert topping and the sweet sweet nitrous oxide gas that lay within that beautiful red can...mmmm...sweet gas...I am sure many of you can relate to this. : But Jello doesn't stop there...for you see, Jello or Gelatin as the eggheaded food science people call it, is actually an animal by product... : the remnants of livestock slaughter and processing (ie. hooves, connective tissue, and other yummy treats) are reduced and dried down to a fine powdery substance that is later traded with aliens for vast quantities of real jello. I know there are some that believe the gelatin is made from hooves themselves, but come on, sillies, when did you ever taste a strawberry banana cow hoof? No, sir, I put my money on the clandestine trade with extraterrestrials anyday. : anyhoo, i think you can tell where I stand on this issue... : Kevin likes Jello? swell! : Kevin wants Jello in Jersey Girl? hell yeah! : Kevin wants me to tape him frollicking in a tub of jello? politely decline. : just remember, there's always room for jello. : you can hate me, or even Kevin...but for godsakes, you leave that : little wobbly bowful of fun (you know...for kids!) outta this! : you wanna pick on something? two words - bread pudding : no redeeming values there... : Thank you.

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