are you really that inept?

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: "Inept? We don't know the meaning of the word! We really don't. What does it mean?" : : 1. -Name as it appears on your birth certificate: : William James Paxton : : 2. -Your age: : 28 : : 3. -Nicknames: : Pax, Seven, Seven Inches, and Squee : : 4. -Parents’ names: : Robert and Patricia Paxton : : 5. -Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? : None : : 6. -Height? : 6'1" : : 7. -Weight that you tell people or is on your drivers license: : 145 : : 8. -Weight that you really are: : 145 : : 9. -Hair color: : Black : : 10. -Natural hair color: : Black : : 11. -How much do you love your job (1-10)? : 0 : : 12. -Your ideal job would be: : Professional author : : 13. -Been in love before? : Oh, yeah : : 14. -Loved somebody so much it made you cry? : Yup : : 15. -In relationships, are you usually the dumper or dumpee? : Dumpee, mostly 'cause I can never bring myself to dump someone : : 16. -If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? : Crab fettucinne alfredo : : 17. -Homemade or convenience food? : Homemade : : 18. -Active or couch potato? : Active : : 19. -Your favorite thing to wear: : My black jeans, black socks, black Army boots, black undershirt, black leather jacket, and black sunglasses : : 20. -What do your clothes say about you? : That I'm either a biker or a James Dean wannabe : : 21. -Where do you see yourself in 10 years? : Still working at the same shitty office, but with wife and kids for support (and TO support) : : 22. -What you do most when you are bored: : Write short scripts and answer polls : : 23. -What words or phrases do you overuse? : "Really?", "Christ on a cracker", "Jesus on a pogo stick", and "shut the fuck up, junkie" : : 24. -Most annoying thing? : When people loiter in the middle of a hall or sidewalk and get in everyone's fucking way : : 25. -Best thing: : Sex with love behind it : : 26. -Your creative outlet: : Writing short scripts : : 27. -What you spent the last $500 of discretionary money on: : An engagement ring : : 28. -Were you satisfied with those purchases? : I know she was : : 29. -Do you like how your house is decorated? If not, how do you wish your house were decorated? : I'm moving into a different house in a few months, so it doesn't really matter : : 30. -Are you living a double life? : Yup - I'm an Internet geek/insurance underwriter by day, and a biker/bartender by night : : 31. -Your life partner would describe you as… : "The most generous and giving person I've ever known" (and she's already so that, so nah!) : : 32. -Your friends would describe you as… : Generous and creative, I guess : : 33. -Your enemies would describe you as… : "That weird guy who never says anything, just stares at people menacingly" (and they've all said something like that already, so nah!) : : 34. -Five adjectives that describe you are: : Generous, creative, kind, caring, and quiet : : 35. -Five adjectives that you wish described you: : Extremely handsome, muscular, friendly (can't think of any more) : : 36. -What do you really crave that you try to satiate with food, work, drink, drugs, or sex? : Well, mostly those are the things I crave, so food, work, drink, drugs, and sex : : 37. -Why is your best friend your best friend? : I've known him for years and we have a lot in common : : 38. -Why is your enemy your enemy? : Because he's a total dick and I'm a total dick and opposites attract, whereas identicals deflect : : 39. -In your heart of hearts, are you genuinely happy and content? If not, what would it take to make you happy and content? : No, and I'm not sure : : 40. -If you were to die today, what legacy would you leave behind? : If I were to die today, then I'd rather everybody just forget that I ever existed and move on already

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