Posted by Duffless at hide101.suffolk.edu on May 31, 2002 at 12:16:43:
In Reply to: Looking for good lovin' on the View Askew Board posted by There is sometimes an Andeee on May 31, 2002 at 11:48:15:
A guy named Andeee is hot for this girl and has been asking her out for ages, finally one friday night she calls up and asks what he is doing saturday. They decide to go to dinner in the city. Later Friday night Andeee is all excited and calls his boys up and they go out and get totally shit faced, perhaps because he is a bit nervous about the next night Andee out drinks all of them. The next day he is feeling like shit but doesn't wanna cancel his date as he might never get another chance.
He suffers all day long and takes her out to dinner in the city. They are at a nice restaurant but he can barely eat, he manages to finish his meal while engaging in conversation and still feeling horrible. Towards the end of the meal he is feeling worse than ever and thinks he is gonna fart. While sitting at the table he decides to let a silent one out hoping he is far away enough from her that she will not notice. Well, what he thought was a fart turned out to be a giant squishy liquid shit. The check come he pays it they get up from the table and he tells her there is a sweater in the Gap next store that he's been meaning to buy, would she mind if they went over there. She said Ok, and they go to the Gap and he makes sure to keep his distance from her at all times and never stand so that he is in front.
They go to the Gap and he suggests she look around too. So he grabs the first sweater he sees and picks up a a pair of pants and puts it under the sweater and goes to the counter. He tells the the guy at the counter to only ring up the pants, and not the sweater as he doesn't really need it. He keeps his eye on his date and see's she is getting closer as the clerk keeps trying to ring up both. Andee keeps to a hushed yell and keeps saying, just ring up the pants. Finally the clerk understands the sale is made and he tells the date he is ready to go. They walk out and he tells her that it has been fun in the city that maybe they should catch the train back.
They get on the train, him still keeping a distance so she can't smell his shitty pants. He excuses himself and goes the bathroom where he pulls off his shit soaked boxers and pants, and uses the pant leg to wipe his diareha (I can't spell) soiled ass. He doesn't know what to do with his pants, but he knows he doesn't want to carry them around, so he tosses them out the window of the train. He then opens the bag and finds.........dum dum dumm...THE SWEATER.......He is shit out of luck....Does he go back to his date with the sweater covering his privates and try to explain? Or does he make a break for it? He decides that eihter way he'll never get another date with her, his dream girl, so he waits for the next stop and hops off the train with the sweater wrapped around his ass and balls......and he takes an expensive cab ride home.....
Poor Andeee.....