Posted by Derbeppo at 24-126-232-109.we.client2.attbi.com on March 02, 2002 at 02:23:56:
In Reply to: Lesbian Seagull 4 (less talking, more sucking) posted by BlazinCaucasian on March 02, 2002 at 00:52:37:
Just my buck fifty here...I really don't think this works as long as it is. The characters, the situations, the everything, might work better in several 5 to 10 minute shorts. Each one can be its own mini-story that can have a couple elements that tie them all together. Go check out Devil Doll and Radiskull on Shockwave.com. Because my second point is that it sounds like animated, traditional or otherwise, might be better suited for the material. But don't give up, read it out loud to catch the parts that sound fine on paper, but stilted and awkward out loud. Hope that helps.