Sponsor an Enron Executive

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: : > Dear kindhearted friends... : > : > : > Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into your heart to : help : > those in need. Enron executives in our very own country are living at or : > just below the seven-figure salary level...right here in the land of : plenty. : > : > And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of it as a : result : > of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation. : > : > But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day : (that's : > less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an Enron : > executive remain economically viable during his time of need. This : > contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers their : per : > diem, ...but it's a start! : > : > Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an Enron exec : it : > could mean the difference between a vacation spent sucking ass in DC, : > golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred : dollars : > is nothing more than rent, a car note or mortgage payments. But to an : Enron : > exec $700 will : > almost replace his per diem. : > : > Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an Enron exec to buy : > that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new : > Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio. : > : > HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING? : > : > Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the exec you : > sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real : estate, : > and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. You'll also : get : > information on how he plans to invest his golden parachute. Imagine the : joy : > as you watch your : > executive's portfolio double or triple! Plus upon signing up for this : > program, you will receive a photo of the exec (unsigned-for a signed : photo, : > please include an additional $50.00). Put the photo on your refrigerator : to : > remind you of other peoples' suffering. : > : > HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING? : > : > Your Enron exec will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants : to : > help in a time of need. Although the exec won't know your name, he will : be : > able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator just in : case : > additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses. : > : > YES, I WANT TO HELP! : > : > I would like to sponsor an Enron executive. My preference is checked : below: : > : > [ ] Midlevel Manager : > [ ] Director : > [ ] Vice President (Higher cost; please specify which department) : > [ ] President (Even higher cost; please specify which department) : > [ ] CEO (Contribution: Average Enron janitor monthly salary x 700) : > [ ] Entire Company : > [ ] I'll sponsor an Exec most in need. Please select one for me. : > : > Please charge the account listed below ___________ per day and send me a : > picture of the Enron executive I have sponsored, along with my very own : > Enron "Keep America Strong Sponsor an Enron Exec: Ask Me How!" T-shirt to : > wear proudly. : > : > Your Name: _______________________ : > : > Telephone Number:_______________________ : > : > Account Number: _______________________ : > : > Exp. Date:_______[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ]Discover : > : > Signature: _______________________ : > : > Mail completed form to "The Invisible Hand" or call 1-900-2MUCH now to : > enroll by phone. Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the : executive : > they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but : not : > limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Keep in : mind : > that the executive you : > have sponsored will be much too busy enjoying his free time, thanks to : your : > generous donations. : > : > Contributions are not tax-deductibl

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