Chris Rock went to the wrong strip club.........

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Posted by Mr.Joshua at spider-mtc-tc014.proxy.aol.com on November 08, 2001 at 02:18:12:

or "How I accidentally paid for sex"

So, Chris Rock says There is no sex in the champagne room, well uh... then why, did I just get literally fucked out of $150 buck this past Saturday.

So, I was supposed to go to a local strip club for my eighteenth birthday, a copuple of my friends from High School went for their's and couldn't wait to see how I would react. Well, it took two years, but we finally went to celebrate my late 18th.

Now I had been told by Chris Rock, The G-string Divas and the movie "Go" that all that happened in the Champagne room was a lap dance and a little bubbly. Well, that may be true 9 out of 10 times, in most other areas of the country. but you should still always ask first. Ask the stripper if there will be sex.

My two buddies insisted I take a trip to the fabled room,. A lovely young lass named Raven took me to a little room, well, not so much a room as a booth about the size of a handicap bathroom. First she asked me if I was a cop. (This should have gave me a hint, I'm naive, what can I say.) I of course said no. Then she asked my how much money I had. $160. Then she locked thebooth and took all her cloths (what little she wore) off and started what I thought was a lap dance but became so much more.

I guess I could've stopped her, (Yeah, right, can any straight man stop a even a ugly girl form doing these things) and bickity Bam! I was a boy when I went in, but now I am a man.

So, then Raven goes... "That'll be $150 bucks", What? I replied. $150 bucks, she repeated. I could only stare dumbfounded. Then she started screaming at me!!! "If you don't give me my FUCKING money right now, the bouncer is gonna come in here and rip your fucking dick off and fuck up in the ass with it...." So, I of course paid her.

I didn't intend to pay for sex, but BAM! It's not like I'm Johnny Whoremonger...or Brian Lynch. It just happened.

So, the moral is, even though Chris Rock and the G-String Divas say there is no sex in the champagne room, you should always ask anyway.

Follow Ups:

Kudos to you (not the candy bar) Bartleby72 03:22:16 11/08/01 (0)
and I would have bet money that you were 14. Potzers Inc. 02:58:03 11/08/01 (0)
What do the ladies an the board think, Lynch inclu Mr.Joshua 02:47:50 11/08/01 (25)
- What do you mean by "you couldn't stop her"? Isis 09:20:11 11/08/01 (0)
- Right now I wouldn't touch this comment with a Stormin Norman 02:57:31 11/08/01 (0)
- I think it's weird. BrianLynch 02:56:48 11/08/01 (9)
  - Memories Wanderer 08:45:48 11/08/01 (0)
  - Re: I think it's weird. Mr.Joshua 03:02:43 11/08/01 (7)
    - Re: I think it's weird. bloodninja 03:08:43 11/08/01 (6)
      - Re: I think it's weird. Mr.Joshua 03:18:00 11/08/01 (5)
        
        It's weird to be a 20-year old virgin? Vincent 14:28:14 11/08/01 (1)
        
        It's not weird at all. But if you were a rabbit... Hosferatu 14:53:57 11/08/01 (0)
        
        I have that same problem acid 03:19:36 11/08/01 (2)
        
        Re: I have that same problem Emperor Clobbersaurus 03:20:47 11/08/01 (1)
        
        hallyjullla acid 03:25:58 11/08/01 (0)
- Re: What do the ladies an the board think, Lynch inclu Emperor Clobbersaurus 02:55:13 11/08/01 (12)
  - Prostitution should be legal! --NT acid 03:07:22 11/08/01 (10)
    - Hookers, Beer, Bowling, & Askew...A Recipe for Fun Emperor Clobbersaurus 03:19:38 11/08/01 (1)
      - Re: Hookers, Beer, Bowling, & Askew...A Recipe for Fun acid 03:21:33 11/08/01 (0)
    - You are killing meeeee!!! Stormin Norman 03:08:54 11/08/01 (7)
      - Correction Bartleby72 03:24:09 11/08/01 (1)
        
        Exactly!!!! --NT acid 03:27:13 11/08/01 (0)
      - yeah acid 03:13:21 11/08/01 (4)
        
        Re: yeah Stormin Norman 03:15:08 11/08/01 (3)
        
        Yup...... --NT acid 03:15:48 11/08/01 (2)
        
        legal in Asia too--NT Stormin Norman 03:21:01 11/08/01 (1)
        
        And the Netherlands!!! ---NT acid 03:22:13 11/08/01 (0)
  - Re: What do the ladies an the board think, Lynch inclu Mr.Joshua 02:59:17 11/08/01 (0)
Maybe he just doesn't have to pay for sex. BrianLynch 02:45:22 11/08/01 (3)
- Re: Maybe he just doesn't have to pay for sex. PretzelFan 08:52:25 11/08/01 (0)
- Re: Maybe he just doesn't have to pay for sex. Mr.Joshua 02:55:37 11/08/01 (1)
  - You need... Emperor Clobbersaurus 02:57:26 11/08/01 (0)
I can think of worse ways to lose $150... Hibernian Psycho 02:23:04 11/08/01 (0)
Could have been worse...or was it? Emperor Clobbersaurus 02:22:34 11/08/01 (8)
- Re: Could have been worse...or was it? Mr.Joshua 02:32:04 11/08/01 (7)
  - wait, wait, WAIT a minute! acid 03:02:15 11/08/01 (4)
    - man..... Stormin Norman 03:06:01 11/08/01 (1)
      - take a deep breath, man... you can do it... i'm here for you hehehe NT Pitstain 11:57:12 11/08/01 (0)
    - Cocaine, huh? Sweet Dick Willie 03:05:24 11/08/01 (1)
      - Re: Cocaine, huh? acid 03:10:37 11/08/01 (0)
  - An Idea Emperor Clobbersaurus 02:49:23 11/08/01 (0)
  - Rarely is someone silver-tongued,in all meaningsNT Hibernian Psycho 02:34:30 11/08/01 (0)

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: or "How I accidentally paid for sex" : So, Chris Rock says There is no sex in the champagne room, well uh... then why, did I just get literally fucked out of $150 buck this past Saturday. : So, I was supposed to go to a local strip club for my eighteenth birthday, a copuple of my friends from High School went for their's and couldn't wait to see how I would react. Well, it took two years, but we finally went to celebrate my late 18th. : Now I had been told by Chris Rock, The G-string Divas and the movie "Go" that all that happened in the Champagne room was a lap dance and a little bubbly. Well, that may be true 9 out of 10 times, in most other areas of the country. but you should still always ask first. Ask the stripper if there will be sex. : My two buddies insisted I take a trip to the fabled room,. A lovely young lass named Raven took me to a little room, well, not so much a room as a booth about the size of a handicap bathroom. First she asked me if I was a cop. (This should have gave me a hint, I'm naive, what can I say.) I of course said no. Then she asked my how much money I had. $160. Then she locked thebooth and took all her cloths (what little she wore) off and started what I thought was a lap dance but became so much more. : I guess I could've stopped her, (Yeah, right, can any straight man stop a even a ugly girl form doing these things) and bickity Bam! I was a boy when I went in, but now I am a man. : So, then Raven goes... "That'll be $150 bucks", What? I replied. $150 bucks, she repeated. I could only stare dumbfounded. Then she started screaming at me!!! "If you don't give me my FUCKING money right now, the bouncer is gonna come in here and rip your fucking dick off and fuck up in the ass with it...." So, I of course paid her. : I didn't intend to pay for sex, but BAM! It's not like I'm Johnny Whoremonger...or Brian Lynch. It just happened. : So, the moral is, even though Chris Rock and the G-String Divas say there is no sex in the champagne room, you should always ask anyway.

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