Re: Making fun of rape... Not even close....Isis

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: Forgive me if this has already been answered point by point, but I'm too upset to read through all the follow-ups herein before replying. : This level of ignorance makes me angry, especially when it is disseminated as fact--impressionable people may not be able to discern these lies from the truth. : (Let's assume that the story of the woman and her ex-boyfriend and the cocaine element are all true.) : "Ok 1, you can not be "raped", as an adult, several times over a period of years by the same group of guys. That is not called rape that is called group sex." : This is not true. It's rape if he/she does not or cannot give consent NO MATTER how many times it occurs. : "A normal, strong, self respecting person wouldn't stay in that situation unless they were into that." : You obviously have no idea what kind of influence an abuser can have over a victim or how people fall inot abusive relationships. : Normal. This term has no place in a discussion of abuse. Perfectly "normal" people do extraordinary things to cope with extraordinary circumstances. : : When something seems uncool to a normal woman she will leave. Cut and dry..." : Again, not true. She may not have the resources to leave. Abusers typically control their victims so thoroughly that they often don't have the means to leave or anyplace to go if they do. Abusers systematically cut their victims off from any network of support and create a scenario of total dependence. Imagine picking up and fleeing your home, right now, no time to pack and even if you did, you’d be accused of theft. You don’t have your own money because if he catches you with any he’ll take it forcibly from you. Can’t go to work, ‘cus he’ll find you there and he’s been telling lies about you to everyone, including your employers. You have no family for a thousand miles and can’t afford transportation to get to them, presuming they’d take you in anyway. Your friends are his friends and frankly, they don’t believe your wild claims against him. They think you’re either lying or mistaken and he’s told them that you’ve been lying about him… That’s just one scenario. There are others more gruesome. Even when people run away from abusive environments, their abusers often hunt them down, endanger their families, hit them with bogus legal charges, or other such slander. : In other cases, the tragedy is, perfectly capable, otherwise well-adjusted women remain in relationships that deteriorate before their eyes trying to repair them. The myth is, if you love him enough, you can make anything work. Many women feel a sense of obligation to their loved ones that exceeds their own personal comfort and in some cases, safety. : I had to fight off my last boyfriend, a 235 pound former Marine, when he attacked me in my home. I kicked him out after that, but had endured months of emotional and verbal abuse from this alcoholic nightmare (this is the mild and abridged description). Why? I couldn’t bring myself to kick him out before that because he had no where else to go. I made excuses for him because I loved him. It wasn't until I realized that he might kill me that I had to do the unthinkable--send him away. Now of course, I can't believe I put up with his $hit for so long, but at the time, I felt obligated to him. My critical mistake was caring more about him than I did about myself. I'm not the first woman to do this and I won't be the last. I can't even be sure if I won't fall prey to another abuser and his string of lies and self-promotion. All I know for sure is that I thank GOD for my martial arts training and my neighbors who called the cops that night. My point? I've lived through the "uncool" and can assert that you don't know what you're talking about, SN. : Anyway, some people never learn to establish boundaries regarding how others treat them. Some people don't realize that they deserve better treatment; others don't realize that not all men (partners) act this way because their adult life mirrors their childhood. : "Not stick around and snort coke all day waiting to be violated again." : Cocaine? That could have been what bound her to the relationship. Drugs consume people and she was very likely enslaved to the drug and probably her supplier--in which case, she might have done *anything* for a fix (that's how drugs work--ask anyone who has tried to quit smoking). : ": Also since that post is by her new happy, shiny, boy friend she probably lied and claimed rape rather than saying that she was the Trailor Park Princess. Because you know what? Women and men sometimes lie to their new significant others about their past." : You don't have evidence "that she was the Trailor Park Princess", so don't print it--it's speculative and defamatory. : : 3. When you put shit on a web board, in PUBLIC, expect that someone is going to criticise it. Just expect that in the millions and millions of people out there that some one MAY just possibly have a different opinion. : Then you can't object to this or any other rebuttal. : More importantly, you're ignorant blasting of your uneducated opinions among impressionable people is dangerous, reckless and arrogant. Your narrow-mindedness demonstrates and perpetuates the fundamental problems that many women face in an otherwise freedom loving society. : Did you know (according to criminal statistics) that1 in every 3 women will be raped in her lifetime (those are only the reported cases and in some areas the numbers are even higher)? Did you know that many males are terrified to know what behavior constitutes rape? Did you know that many men think of women as merely recreational (not discouraged by media presentation of women) and can’t conceive of a woman’s having autonomous government over her own body? : If you doubt it, live as a woman for a year and see for yourself. I dare ya. : ***************************** : : You seemed to be taking you little shots at me down there a ways. Ok I guess that I need to straighten this out so that even you in your limited capacity can understand. : : Your Points as you stated: : : 1. You CLAIM that I made a joke about you being raped. : : 2. You CLAIM that I make rape jokes all the time. : : : : Ok, now let me tell you what we 'rational people' like to call the truth... : : The truth: : : 1. The post that you are in a pissy fit about was not a joke. Let's examine the facts: : : A. Some dolt comes on a web board and talks about how is girl friend used to be gang banged by her ex boyfriend and all his buddies several times over the years and how she was a cocain addict. : : Ok 1, you can not be "raped", as an adult, several times over a period of years by the same group of guys. That is not called rape that is called group sex. A normal, strong, self respecting person wouldn't stay in that situation unless they were into that. : : : : When something seems uncool to a normal woman she will leave. Cut and dry. Not stick around and snort coke all day waiting to be violated again. : : Also since that post is by her new happy, shiny, boy friend she probably lied and claimed rape rather than saying that she was the Trailor Park Princess. Because you know what? Women and men sometimes lie to their new significant others about their past. : : : : 2. You say you were raped. For this I truely am sorry. But I didn't do it. IIt is not my fault. I live thousands of miles away in another country. So stop taking it out on me. Go to a support group and work out your feelings with people that have shared a common experience. I hope you can heal yourself mentally. : : 3. When you put shit on a web board, in PUBLIC, expect that someone is going to criticise it. Just expect that in the millions and millions of people out there that some one MAY just possibly have a different opinion. : : So if you are such an emotional person, my friendly advice to you would be not to post personal information about yourself. ESPECIALLY if you are so sensitive about it. : : : : On a final note, threatening people on the Internet is all fine and good, but if you think I will take that shit in person you better reconsider. : : : : Have a nice day. : : Stormin

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