Posted by rosie at hse-toronto-ppp167141.sympatico.ca on August 28, 2001 at 13:22:44:
In Reply to: That and the movie were the summer's high points. posted by The Right Reverend on August 28, 2001 at 13:21:33:
: : : This gave me a chuckle:
: : : > See, the way I look at it is like this:
: : : > The next level is fun. not many people venture
: : : > there and the ones that do find ample rewards.
: : : > I don't know why people fear the next level...
: : : > they call it uncouth, barbaric, even
: : : > embarassing... But I... I strive for the next
: : : > level... Allow me to elaborate...
: : : > (Dick and Chris: I was sober this time, which
: : : > brings me to a belated apology for anything I
: : : > may have said that personally offended either
: : : > of you. If I did or said anything that you
: : : > found OFFENSIVE, my bad. If I was just
: : : > embarassing as hell... groovy. I needed that
: : : > night more than I can tell you).
: : : > Anyhow, yeah... next level...
: : : >
: : : > As you all know, the past few months have
: : : > been... difficult. And for some reason that
: : : > came to a head tonight. Maybe it was Jay and
: : : > Silent Bob, maybe it was stress, maybe it was
: : : > the knowledge of quickly approaching the 4-year
: : : > mark, maybe it was a mixture of all those
: : : > thigns, but there I sat after the movie on a
: : : > friend's porch enjoying a beer. There was this
: : : > cute little blonde sitting next to me and for
: : : > some reason or another (theys ay it was
: : : > accidental) flung out her hand that was holding
: : : > her bottle of Red Stripe.
: : : > Her open bottle of Red Stripe.
: : : > Her open bottle of Red Stripe that effectively
: : : > emptied itself on my face, my chest, my crotch,
: : : > and my legs when she flung her hand out.
: : : > Oh there were mighty chuckles all around. I
: : : > smiled and picked up a bottle of PBR, covered
: : : > the mouth with my thumb, and shook it
: : : > violently. Oh, how everyone laughed at the idea
: : : > of Rob spraying beer all over the girl who had
: : : > just made it very difficult to explain to the
: : : > officer who, if fate were a true bitch, would
: : : > pull me over later that night and ask if I had
: : : > been drinking. (That didn't happen, but it
: : : > could have... I mean I REEKED.)
: : : > I aimed the bottle and let fly the furies
: : : > buried within that brown bottle of love. The
: : : > beer erupted out and hit her squarely in the
: : : > face (Shut up, Freud), her hair, her ear, her
: : : > clothes, her chest... oh her ample
: : : > white-clothed chest....
: : : > Yeah, I laughed and laughed and laughed. As she
: : : > stomped into the house with her boyfriend (Who
: : : > looked an awful lot like Rocky, mind you -
: : : > that's the guy from Aimesville. not Balboa), I
: : : > laughed some mroe. Then I realized everyone was
: : : > dead silent.
: : : > What else could I do at that point in time but
: : : > quote Mikey - albeit under my breath since the
: : : > windows were open and she was standing next to
: : : > it - "Eh, she wasn't going to fuck me anyway."
: : : > Which caused me to laugh some more.
: : : > All in all, everyone thought I was a big
: : : > asshole about the whole thing, but I see it as
: : : > an eye for an eye. And a hell of a way to bring
: : : > a laugh... at least for me.
: : : > Oh, yeah, here's the neato part. I was sober.
: : : > Imagine that.
: : : > While, no, this wasn't a big deal when you
: : : > think too much about it, but I just wish you
: : : > all had seen the look on that girl's face when
: : : > the beer hit her. It was priceless. And the
: : : > stunned look on everyone else's face...
: : : > marvelous. It was a moment in time that I will
: : : > forever cherish. So, don't be afraid to follow
: : : > that first impulse. Sure, it's probably not the
: : : > socially correct thing to do, but I promise you
: : : > that good or bad it will stand out in your mind
: : : > for a long, long time.
: : : >
: : : > Besides, she was a prissy little cunt.
: : : > r