Posted by SenorWeird at aca02bce.ipt.aol.com on August 02, 2001 at 11:58:48:
* taught me about such things like "snowballing," "stinkpalming" and "fisting."
* showed me that I could be a geek about something worse than I was with 'Star Wars.'
* created Randall, Brodie and Banky, the coolest character ever.
* on a similar note, got Jason Lee in Hollywood.
* let me know Joey Lauren Adams could actually act (cause really, "Biodome" and that episode of "Married With Children" weren't exactly monumental works).
* taught me to "snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch."
* made movies that inspire me to make movies at a low cost too.
* created soundtracks without oldies songs that I'd still want to buy anyway.
* let me realize that, hey, Eliza Dushku is hot (and easy to spell).
* has wasted tons of AOL's bandwidth as a post, chat, download, upload, read, visit, skim and/or dream of ViewAskew.com and NewsAskew.com.
* gave us Jason Mewes.
* gave us Ben Affleck (wait, is that a good thing?) :)
* gave me a reason to visit Jersey (and damn it, one day I will!)
* showed the world that there can still be insightful romantic-comedies with dramatic moments.
* told Disney on numerous occasions to "shove it," so to speak.
* gave me my favorite religious flick.
* owns more of my money than any other person just so I can have cool "swag" with a half-naked clown seal of approval.
* rarely speaks a single word on screen, yet says more than I ever thought a director could in five simple films.
Happy Birthday, Kevin Smith.
Are you really 31? Shit, that's nothing. You still got a long way before the Academy has you as an old-fart rambling aimlessly holding a giant bronze head (and this will eventually happen).