Posted by Eilsel at c1134243-b.jffsn1.mo.home.com on June 12, 2001 at 00:49:34:
What is it exactly about late nights and wine that keep me from actually getting any sleep? Tonight "Sunset Grill", a post-Eagles Don Henley tune kept rolling through my head like a bulldozer, providing background for the viscious circle of thoughts that don't seem to want to leave. It's been a rough day . . .but for some reason I can't seem to let it go.
It's not that I'm unhappy-it's not that at all. I'm just, for lack of a better term, worried. And I can't voice that feeling too loudly, lest I burden my copilot/best friend in the world/husband. I DO NOT want to add to what he's already feeling. I want to be strong for him, to be his partner and to support him. It makes my heart ache to see him in turmoil. I know we'll be fine, and that things will work out. I know that. I just want him to know that, even though I know it's something he's going to have to come to by himself. It's just painful to watch him in pain.
We saw "Chasing Amy" for the first time this weekend. I won't be maudlin and gush about how wonderful I thought the movie was (why else would I be on this site?), but it gave me a lot of food for thought. Letting go of the past, whether it's mine or his, is not something I'm very good at. The film spoke volumes about it from both sides of the coin, both of which I can identify with.
It's nearly midnight here, time for bed. I think maybe I can sleep now.
goodnight