Posted by orwell at h525405f49311.ne.mediaone.net on April 12, 2001 at 22:23:40:
In Reply to: It's got potential. posted by orwell on April 12, 2001 at 22:14:56:
just a suggestion for this dialogue:
JAY
(watching hubcap)
Dude, there goes your hubcap.
RODDY
I'll buy a new one.
JAY
You can get another one from that
guy on 103rd Street.
NEIL
You mean that guy who steals
them?
JAY
You know him?
NEIL
Yeah, my uncle Phil went there
after his hubcaps got stolen and
found the exact ones he was
looking for. Same make and model.
------->I'm no comedy expert, but I think you might get greater laughs if you end it here. Granted, the joke relies on the ability of the audience to realize that the caps he bought from the guy were actually his own. Or maybe not. I'm tired, and my wit needs time to recuperate. -- orwell<-----
Turns out they were his.
RODDY
How do you know they were the
same ones.
NEIL
Because his name was written on
them. The guy still denies, to
this day, that he stole them.
He's probably gonna sell that one
when he finds it.