Kevin, read my screenplay!!! It's the breast!!!

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Posted by your crazy Uncle Cephus at on March 30, 2001 at 04:39:01:

I like totally wrote this screenplay aboot a guy and his sheep. I like had this vision and it told me that My Left Foot was about me except it was really my right foot, freaky I know. Anyway for this movie I wanted to have a non actor playing the guy and small actors (leprechauns) playing the sheep and big named actors for the crew, ask Matt, that's what he really wants.

I totally have this soundtrack in my head, it's all Muzack versions of songs like London Bridge and Sheena Was a Punk Rocker and stuff like that. Mine and your birthdays aren't anywhere close to one another but I heard this voice say that you were real and I saw you on tv and tried to kiss you but you wouldn't kiss me back, but I guess it's because you have a wife and you're not gay.

This screenplay is about this guy who is a shepard and his sheep are kidnapped held for ransom and when he pays the ransom he gets his sheep back, but he gets them back as part of the Mutton of the Week Club. There is this emotional scene where he cries and snots on his pillow and farts, cuz my mean spiritual guide told me that farts are orgasmically linked to the spiritual world and are funny. He finds out that the sheep aren't really dead, but are put to work in a sweatshop in China, well Chinatown actually, and he has to go save them, and kill the kidnappers. Then the usual explosions and gunfights, you know, like in all good romance movies. I would really like for you to read it.

Oh and one more thing Kevin. I'm sorry I stalked you last week, but I just wanted to run my fingers through your crevices, that's all I wanted to do honestly, and if you drop the restraining order I promise I won't do it again. Can I have your underwear?

Thanks again and bye,


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