Posted by BrianLynch at cc31423-b.etntwn1.nj.home.com on March 14, 2001 at 12:27:41:
In Reply to: kevin, vincent, bryan...stolen summer...repost posted by theKiwi on March 14, 2001 at 11:10:24:
: have you read "stolen summer" , the project greenlight winning script?
: thoughts?
As someone who has probably never read it, I have to say it was the single worst peice of crap screenplay I have read since the one I am writing. I don't know why Ben and Matt and Miramax picked it.
Man, what a stupid f'ing script, full of stupid descriptions of action, like "And then suddenly, a truck as big as Ben Affleck's big big penis hit her and killed her faster than all of Ben's Ex-Girlfriends (except for the ones he still sleeps with) should die". What does that even mean?
And the dialog, get a load of this. This dude, who's called "Harvey" says to his brother "Bob": "Gosh, Fine Line and Sony Classics are obviously lame rip offs of that company, Miramax. Now THERE'S a great studio. They should win every oscar and they totally don't buy academy votes. And what's with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Gwnyeth Paltrow NOT being nominated for BOYS AND GIRLS and BOUNCE? That's totally lame. Buy Miramax stock! Buy Miramax stock!"
Keep in mind that dialog comes in the middle of a "mother's deathbed" scene.
Finally, the original title of the screenplay, BEFORE Miramax changed it? "MINNIE DRIVER IS A NO GOOD STANK HO WHO DOESN'T DESERVE A CERTAIN OSCAR WINNER---NOT ON HER BEST DAY---NO REALLY, SHE F'S GRIPS AND CRAFT SERVICE BOYS" Okay. First of all, I don't know who this Minn-ee Driv-ur is, but she's not in the screenplay. Secondly, what's wrong with having sex with Grips and Craft Service? Third of that, who writes the word "F" out in a title? I don't get it.
Seriously, from the first EXT. BOSTON - THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD to the last "And then the two dudes from Boston kick the corpse of Winona Ryder repeatedly until she stops saying Mirmax sucks", it's just not a good read. I thank you.