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Posted by Bruce The Shark at spider-wo014.proxy.aol.com on February 18, 2001 at 10:29:59:

In Reply to: Crisis #1 posted by PeterParker on February 18, 2001 at 10:04:40:

Well, I feel your pain. I was in a similar..VERY similar situation once. I am now 28, this was around 19-20...no reason for me to go into details, but the truth hurts..if "It" is not there for her, or for you, you cannot force it. When you DO force something like this, the end result is usually very sad...i.e., a woman who looks at a man, realizes he is good looking, successful, nice, and good with her kid..she marries him, but finds out she cannot get over "It" that is missing..and thus, an inevitable divorce that breaks two hearts.

If you are friends with this girl, as I was, you both will be tempted to TRY and force a fit..and probably sacriice a friendship when it just doesn't pan out, and one of you suddenly discovers 'it' with someone else.

Nobody can REALLy help you..you will have to make a decision and hang in there. Hopefully, you have friennds to prop you up if things go badly...

This is an adult decision, and I'd be lying if I told you that even though I am HAPPILY married, I didn't still think of my 'loss' and wonder what it would be like...???

See, the pain never really goes away, if the love is that deep...but you move on, and eventually, you will find *it*, and that's that.

"It" is a tough thing...you either have it or not..and sadly, people blame looks, weight, height, whatever for a lack of interest due to "It"...but the truth is "It" can be missing even if you are famous and "Desirable".

Nobody understands the bonds between two people...all I can do is ramble, say I pity your crisis, and that I hope you make a decision you can live with.

The REALLY bad news is you listed this as Crisis #1...man, you have a million more coming...

Bear down, and buy a really good helmet.


: I know this is totally off subject matter and frankly, I am very sorry. But, i need help and i don't think there are any people that could help me more that you loyal askewers. If i t means i get kicked off here, then do it, i just need to try. Well, I met this wonderful girl a few weeks ago. She is dead on everything anyone would look for in a girl. She is the first girl that my attraction isn't based on just sexual attributes alone. It seems that I love this girl more than anyone before. But there is a problem... she liked me and all and we were getting together... but as hard as she and I try... she just doesn't feel 'it' when we are together. But I mean she loves who I am. But "it" just isn't there. What can I do? Anyone had a similar problem? I need help cause there is little doubt in my mind that she isn't the one for me. But I can't get to her. Does anyone know a thing I can do? I need some kind of input. Is there any hope? Thank you guys so much for readin. Seeya

: -Parker

: "I don't know whether I am alive and dreaming or dead and remembering"

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