Posted by the badger at firewall-ext.uclh.nthames.nhs.uk on October 05, 2000 at 23:55:25:
In Reply to: How President Clinton Almost Got Stinkpalmed. posted by VioLenT BoB on October 05, 2000 at 23:49:17:
: Here it is, I don't think I've ever told this story before.
: When I was 16 years old I was chosen to take part in a program called The American Legion Jersey Boys State. It's a program that I've since become a staff member for and return on a yearly basis. Basically it takes the best and brightest students from all over NJ, those that accel academically, physically, or musically. Or in my case nobody else wanted to go.
: Out of those 800 or so kids, two are elected by the kids at large to go on and represent their state in the same program in Washington D.C., later in the summer.
: Those statesmen elected to go to Washington get to meet, and the operative action here, shake hands with the president.
: As both an avid Republican and View Askew Fan, my campaign manager and I came up with the scheme that I would 'stink palm' President Clinton when I met him and shook his hand. Not only would I have done that but there would be two added bonuses to said 'Palming'. One we would videotape me inserting hand in anus crack prior to the meeting, then videotape said hand shaking/palming. And any or all after-effects of said palming. This would all be on videotape as well as the picture you get of shaking the president's hand, which If i could have managed at all would have involved getting my hand or his hand somewhere near his nose with hilarity ensuing.
: As fate would have it, this never happened. I lost the election by three votes, because the kid after me ate a live worm and everyone was so appalled they forgot the kid before him (me) and voted for the first two that spoke. Ah well, I might have climbed a bell tower after that but there was free pizza back in the dorm.
: Anyway that's what might have happened.
: Shit man, I'd a gotten my fifteen minutes, can you imagine that video circulating on Hard Copy and such. I'm pretty sure it's not a crime to rub your ass juice on someone's hand if it's proferred. I would have been untouchable, though my mother might have had some "Tax Problems" or something down the road.
: VB
: Vote Bob!