Posted by The Midwest sucks! at dtg-42.216-16-8.dtgnet.com on June 26, 2000 at 02:26:29:
In Reply to: Bethany & the Divine Cop-Out *Concept Reiterated* posted by Lucifer Lyndon Razoodock on June 26, 2000 at 01:29:06:
: This would've been something like a re-post, but I've re-thought too much of it...
: *SPOILERS...what am I saying...if you're on this board and you don't know how "DOGMA" ends....well, watch it for God's sake!!*
: Right, then.
: What is the deal with Bethany's yearnings? Even when Janeane's cameo suggests that she should "get filled," there's no indication that this poor woman is anywhere near horny.
: Is it men? Is it her uterus? Is it both of the aforementioned and more besides?
: To say that The Metatron's (aka. God...one could opine that "DOGMA" perseveres as "women's erotica" in a way that "Chasing Amy" merely skims) gift to Bethany is a miracle is to short-change the obvious. That said, it's also the most convenient artificial insemination (actually, I know that semen is far from the point here...or is it...I mean, just because some Divine-sperm blessed her with the mystery of conception, doesn't make the gesture any less on God/Metatron's part...or myself semen-obsessed for mentioning it...) I've yet seen in a film...
: Janeane (what's her name?...anyone?...anyone?) tells Bethany (you see, it's just weird for me to refer to one character by the performer whilst acknowledging the performer's-fiction with the other) that she needs to go and "...ask God for a third option," and a this foreshadows a third option which is...well, a mild controversy to my mind (at least, with regards to Bethany's desires...and her malefaction, that being the loss of her uterus)
: For the record (I'm about to get gratuitous, Darth), my own mother lost her uterus some time ago and much as she loves "DOGMA," and felt for Bethany, I suspect she'll not spontaneously grow another young sibling for me any time soon.
: My mother (a young 46) is conflicted with her faith (though far less a doubter than I). Would that she were charged with a holy crusade, I'm certain stronger ideas in her Creator would be easier to come by.
: Is Bethany frigid? *Holy Shit!! I just nailed the point that I've drawn out here in six succinct syllables...Dobbin must be right about me*
: Was she quite prepared to swear off intercourse for life?
: Compared to Alyssa, Caitlin and Tricia, she seems almost spayed...
: That said, I've noticed a trend for the odd-numbered ViewAskew films to feature women who are or were (or both) amourous to the point of amorality (as perceived by those fuckin' goateed-Catholic guys...the fuck's our prob....er, their problem?) whereas the even-numbered offerings feature women who are disgusted that they fuck their men, women who blanch at the idea of "making whoopee" (poor Brandy had to wait for the next even numbered flick before the writer decided to give her good head via Banky)...
: Oh, and just in case I've befuddled a few of you with the whole odd/even numbered thing, here's your guide:
: "clerks." - 1 (odd)
: "Mallrats" - 2 (even)
: "Chasing Amy" - 3 (odd & the only prime-numbered Askew flick ta boot)
: "DOGMA" - 4 (even)
: --tom
: P.S. To Darth Dobbin: You can make sense sometimes, guy. A certain HO rattled me a bit...but you did not (this time;=+))...All I'm saying this last time...is that you're not crazy...but, ah fuck it, you knew that...
: *there's nothing down there so don't look*
: *I'm serious!! Fuck off!! What the fuck are you even looking here for anyway?*
:
: I just would like to not go on record by not saying that Darth looks nothing like a geek. In fact, D., you're an attractive fella and you look seriously hip ta boot.
: I told Kevin in an e-mail that if I were to whirl on you in mass for the not-so-secret handshake, I would gladly offer you a sign of The Lord's peace.
: Now, don't misread this whole "attractiveness" thing. I'm not like, picking out curtains...I just wanted to give credit where credit's due...
: I tried to answer your e-mail several times (of course, in the midst of a coast-to-coast move it is, in fact, a bit harder to concentrate on this frivolous net-stuff), but it was more like that scene in "Heat" than I gave you credit for...I was going to make it out like that scene in the end of "Devil's Advocate," but break my heart for I must hold my tongue...
: Ah, that's just a bunch of pretentious bullshit.
: You made you gesture.
: You've been the better man.
: Kudos.
: --Thomas George Kessler