dude you're my hero *nt*

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: : : Man, I hate to say it, but the Jay/Bob "Shadows of the Empire" 4-issue series sure did peter out in the end. : : You're damn right, mister. It was hella lame. : : : Nothing really happens in #4. Jay and Bob finally realize Shermer, Illnois is a John Hughes illusion (a gag that gets less funny and seems completely unbelievable each time I read it) and that's about it. There's some highball Jay antics at a high school, but basically it's just an excuse to escape into drug, lesbian, and shower room jokes. Hey, there's a wacky Indian cab driver and oh no, Jay farted! This book seems dedicated to using every easy and half-assed joke in the world. : : Didn't the phrase "Wacky Paki" just make you cringe? You should have had the cab driver offer them some curry or something, Kevin! That would have been SUPER-funny! And then, when they left the taxi, have him say "Thank you, come again!" Ha ha! Whoo! : : : Jay and Bob get to Illinois, go through an embarassingly trite scenario at a high school, they realize they're not in Shermer and...nothing. That's it. Jay and Bob have next to nothing to say to sum up their entire trip and then awkwardly stumble onto an abortion clinic, in a segue to "Dogma" that's about as subtle as a jackhammer. : : To me, the comic seemed to be an excuse to sell merchandise. Oh, look, that's how Jay got the "Snoogans" hat! Here's how he got the "Forked Tongue" T-shirt! All of these items are for sale now! Buy buy buy! : : : Don't get me wrong. I'm a big Kevin fan. I love the flicks, I post on the board occasionally, and I have truly enjoyed all of his comic work. But Jay/Bob #4 is an awful product of lazy, lazy writing. If Kevin would have taken his time and written a fitting and thoughful end to the Jay/Bob series, I could have forgiven the book being another 10 months late. : : And to think this is the one that took the longest to arrive. I'd hate to see what happened if THIS one got rushed. : : Jay: Wow, I'm sure glad that monkey got away safe! : : Silent Bob: .... : : Jay: Bitches and money! Snoogans! : : Silent Bob: ... : : Jay: Well, here we are in front of the abortion clinic. And here's a pile of clothes! Wow, a Snoogans hat! A forked tongue T-shirt! A can of air freshener! We'd better put these on. : : Silent Bob: ... : : Jay: Why are we here again? : : Silent Bob: Shut up, asshole. This is all leading into the movie. : : Jay: You mean "Dogma", being released November 12th by Lions' Gate films? : : Everyone: What's that date again? : : Jay: That's November 12th. : : Silent Bob: Nothing funny's going to happen, kids. Go see the movie. : : Jay: You're not supposed to talk. : : Silent Bob: Shut up. I can get Seth Green here in 20 minutes. : : Jay: Yes, sir. : : Silent Bob: That's better. : : Comic Book Reader: This sucks ass. I'm gonna read "Groo". : : Hawk : : "Worst...Comic Book...EVER."

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